this woman

since my house is punctuated everywhere by windows i know the neighbors know exactly what im doing. especially the woman across the way thats trying to start her car on this cold misty morning who has been out there for 30 minutes, no doubt shes looked up at the open window out of which lou reed is pourning at 9 in the morning, the house with the open front door, for sure shes checked it in her rearview mirror.

what is the hermit doing? shes probably wondering

or

who lives there?


yes neighbors. im that woman. yes i got up at 830 snd cooked breakfast and coffee for two. smoked a couple of cigarettes and shuffled about the hallway in my socks wondering what i should do. yes i checked the room that someone supposedly lives with me in, to see if certain objects had been moved- so i can count: 2.

2 days since hes been home. and yes i havent touched my breakfast as they grow cold next to each other i have this feeling someones about to show up. i sip my coffee. i check the open front door.

yes neighbors, im that woman. quiet and calm but ontop of the details, hoping something is about to happen, fully prepared and fully aware and fully alone in this beautiful home. i know you can hear this down the street through the open window:

feel sick & dirty more dead than alive

oooooooooooooo mama

im waitin for ma man.

yeah.
thats the kind of woman i am.