fake acid fantastic

we watched gummo
and dropped fake acid
it was fantastic
best
non-functioning
hallucinogen
of my life.

the divine

hold me closer tiny dancer
hug his leather coat
he is already a family member
you dont think,
you know.
anger makes you cry
disapointment
leads to sighing
guitar-plucking finger technique
makes you bite
and writhe
you dont even know what youre doing
while youre doing it
but it feels good
so keep moving
towards the light.
cigarette?
snow moments divide
your time
in a completely unacceptable fashion,
you move towards
the divine.

the sunshine

his vibrato rings
as he sings
i feel it tingling
this is a good thing
why do i feel fear
jankin' my shit
wondering if
im good enough

its just a few steps
to the other side
you gotta decide:
hide and live a lie
or step into
the sunshine

anytime

my body feels like
warm rose petals
that sounds nice
yeah
now the warm petals
are turning into
creme brulee
oooh creme brulee,
you dont say...

my creme brulee
has pop rocks in it.
ten minutes later,
we've moved into
a rice-crispies-state...

lean on me,
let me finger your spine.
thank you.
you're welcome,

anytime.

ate it

he grabs my arm on the couch
holds me hugging it
down
you have to see this
right now
can we watch it
again
when the acid
kicks in?
you have acid?
he says.
no, i don't,
i ate it.

GOOD FOR YOU

WHAT IS IT THAT SCARES PEOPLE?
THEY'RE TERRIFIED.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU
SAY BABY BLUES
WELL I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT,
GOOD FOR YOU.

small brick

another brick
in the wall
just a small brick.
dont push it in,
just set it.
if its made out of
the expandable
material
you think it is,
bust the whole wall
to shit
as it grows
you listen
for the cracking
sound
prepare to say
goodbye
to the beautiful
moss
and grafetti

GOOD DEAL

I JUST WANNA BE FREE.
SAME HERE.
GOOD DEAL.
PEEL AWAY
A FEW LAYERS
SO THE RAYS
CAN HEAL.
MY DEAR,
MY DARLING
WE'RE YAWNING.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
UNCLEAR.
I COULDN'T CARE LESS,
HONESTLY.
SAME HERE.
GOOD DEAL.

wrong with this

brush your bangs
from your forehead
and stick
a kiss
in.
somewhere
a waterbong
is whistling-
oh no wait-
thats just snoring.
somewhere someone
is listening
gathering evidence
against this.
keep talking,
keep kissing,
there is nothing
wrong with this.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETHING NEW.

goodbyes are easier
when theres no lies,
nobody is lying.
when theres no lose ends
to tye up,
cuz youve left nothing
untied.
a shell identity
they gave to me,
i yearn to defy.
agitated everytime
i see myself walk
within the lines.
moving, always trying
to work within
my own confines-
let something slip,
and see how much
not a problem
it is.
i would climb mountains
for those lips,
i dont just would
but i do...
the ease with which
we know ourselves,
unfortunately,
something new.

REFRESHING AS HELL

IN OUR SHINEY BLACK JACKETS,
WE SAT ON THE BED LOOKIN COOL.
HE PLAYED ACOUSTIC GUITAR,
I FELT LIKE I WAS IN HIGHSCHOOL.
WE GIGGLED, WE TOUCHED,
NOT MUCH, JUST ENOUGH.
WE DID THINGS I DID WHEN I WAS 12,
IT WAS REFRESHING AS HELL.

THE OPPOSITE

I THINK HE'S REALLY TALENTED
BUT KIND OF AN IDIOT.
i cant tell you
who said this,
but continues-
you fall in love
so fast and so hard
its not good for you.
well this is true.
ok. so what to do?
nothing. you should stop it.
before you meet the ugly end
(again)
i know when i hear this
this is a real friend.
thank you and goodbye
i say
youre right im gonna drop it.
i know and friend sees
in my eyes
im about to do the opposite.

SAG VAG (*sagittarius vagina)

IVE NEVER HAD A SAG VAG.
IVE NEVER HAD A SAG COCK.
BUT IF WE GET THERE,
I WILL FUCK YOU
UNTIL YOU CANNOT WALK.

IGNITED

you come on the same day each time. feb 23. seven years apart. will there be other visits through the web of time? time travellers wife. how did you get the day so right? thats tight. i am ignited. where has this been hiding.

WHAT A FUCKING DISASTER

FINALLY YOURE HERE.
AND I HAVE WASTED ALL
OF MY ENERGY
SHOWING THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES
TO OTHER BOYS.
WHO WERENT WORTH IT.
WHO WERENT YOU.
AND TO TELL THE TRUTH,
I WASNT REALLY FOOLED.
WHY DID I DO THAT?

IVE KNOWN YOU.
IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR YOU.
I KNEW YOUD COME.
I DIDNT WAIT PATIENTLY THOUGH.
WHICH IS WHY I STAND
RAVAGED IN FRONT OF YOU
BUT YOU SEE THROUGH IT.
FELLOW SAGITTARIUS.
I ALMOST THOUGHT YOU WERE LEE
BUT I KNEW BETTER
AND SO DID HE.
I DATED CAPRICORNS
WHEN I WAS TRYING TO PRETEND
THAT DIDNT MATTER.
WHAT A FUCKING DISASTER.

VOODOO STEW

you can act like
i was wreaking
havoc on you
cuz you know thats
believable
im going to go
live on the edge
of society
in a cob house
and eat stews
my own recipe
the town people will say
they are voodoo
and only when
new people
come into town
will i be viewed
with fresh eyes
and someone will take time
to see my worth
it will be
a rebirth
a resurgence of energy
that wasn't negative
to begin with
a million apologies
for the actions
of our former selves
someone will cradle us
someone will forgive
not sure
you ever lived it
the story passed down
till you get it
till you're in it
not sure that it
ever happened
you make plans around
a fake past
and real wounds
that dont match
so folks assume
you've had too much
voodoo stew.

GO GET EGGS AND BACON AND FIX THIS.

something feels like shit. what is it?
hangover? no. check.
you have beautiful feet.
weed hangover? no. thoughts clear.
did we drop that acid yesterday? no.
still got that. yes.
you're the best kisser ive ever kissed.
definitely smoked too many cigarettes.
rolled with pipe tobacco.
throat is swollen.
but no coughing, no itching.
right on. smoked too much.
something else.
oh yeah probably the whiney submissive way
i reacted to that beautiful boy
who gave me nothing but positive energy
over a 12-hour period
and cried repeatedly and implied
that i needed to be in a relationship.
LIES!
yeah that was bad.
i was worn out.
i think youre the first real woman
ive ever been this close to.
FUCK.
hungry? check.
ok, go get eggs and bacon
and FIX THIS.

committed

that night in gaswerk, winterthur, after my three-hour performance: i spun through the dance floor in a spaghetti strap pink linen dress, soaked with sweat, cropped hair on my head shorter than that in my armpits, a man i didnt know taught me how to swing dance, tried to throw me in the air, i wasnt having it. then the cutest goth femme i had ever seen in that country comes and grinds up to me, grinds her warm cunt on my thigh through the rest of the night, before we say goodbye we make out right there in front of our respective boyfriends her tongue and soft lips like velvet, like rosepetals, like everything superficial, we make out for a long time. as we say goodbye we lock eyes and our eyes say, i was drunk, but i did mean it. and then its understood. but i push it, i ask her where shes sleeping tonight, she says im with someone, i say so am i. we both smile. we go home seperately and make love to cock, thinking about each other, we never speak of it when we see the other on the street, we just smile, i know youre thinking of me. but we are committed. i let her slip away. i never find the balls to say, run away with me.

roos

options

in darkness we loved without need to see

scott

anthropology

duh duh duh

darn you, socks

a few pages

a few more

remember when?

remember when

i moved in you

and the holy dove

was moving too

and every breath

we drew

......?

exhibitionist

i screamed louder and louder
as he smacked my ass
i rode him
at some point
he told me to
put it in my mounth and as
i nibbled on his
sweet feminine lips
i asked,
is the condom lunricated?
kiss. kiss. what?
kiss. kiss.
is the condom lubricated
on the inside?
kiss. uh. kiss. i dunno.
i suck on the bottom lip
long and breathe deeply.
i would love to
but its gonna taste like
condom & spermacide,
i said. kiss. oh.
he seemed to understand?
kiss.
i initiate eskimo kiss
face in his face,
i mean really i would...
kiss.
he throws me onto all fours.

we smoke in his living room
he calls me dude
and saint joan. i melt.
i ash
in the incense tray.

he asked me if
i liked it
and told me to tell him
that i liked it
while he bit my bottom lip
hands on my hips
it was hot.
he was a bit marshmallowy
like a true UK boy
bit of a drinker too.

while we were parked
infront of the coop
i told him
i wanted to fuck him
in the drivers seat
and he looked away
and said i dont think
im that much of an
exhibitionist
actually.

MOST RECENT DROANINGS

check it out:
two new covers and one original, written at 18, rerecorded after the song was old enough to be about several different people ("new york"). all songs are sketches like my poems/stories. feedback always welcome, working on remixes with a few diff. ppl right now, please cut the song up if you want and email it to me: jmajeski@ymail.com

"shitstorm"

this song changed my life

i fell in love to this song in ireland, 2003.

VALENTINES MIX 2010:

EMOTION RECOGNITION

WHEN I GET LOW I GET HIGH

MY FUR COATS OLD
MY GOD AINT IT COLD
BUT I AINT GONNA HOLLER
CUZ I STILL GOT A DOLLAR
AND WHEN I GET LOW,
I GET HIGH

WELL MY MAN WALKED OUT
YOU KNOW THAT AINT RIGHT
AND HE BETTER WATCH OUT
IF I SEE HIM TONIGHT
BECAUSE WHEN I GET LOW,
I GET HIGH

ALL THE HARD LUCK IN THIS TOWN
HAS FOUND ME
NOBODY KNOWS BUT THE TROUBLE
GOES ROUND AND ROUND ME

IM ALL ALONE
WITH NO ONE TO PET ME
BUT THAT ROCKING CHAIR
AINT NEVER GONNA GET ME
CUZ WHEN I GET LOW,
I GET HIGH


ELLA FITZGERALD

your brother

"hes every christ
there could be
he does it in such
an unparticular way
with recall
he can memorize
anything he wants
sad information
not look down
hes got rocket fuel
and with that
you can
hit the ground
fast
crazy front man
human
completely genuine
and emotionally
available
by meeting him
you would not know."

from david bowie

make her comfortable
so you can keep her
go near her
hear her
in that way
dont be afraid
dontcha wanna get laid?
just take her baby
she wants what you want
just as much
people crazy
they say things
to pull us away
dont listen baby
youre so close
to the center of the labyrinth
dont slow down
dont speed up
dont look back
cities are crumbling
bridges are falling
into lava like
mario
aint it hard do
go for it
like rolling out of the
doldrums
dont let them stick to you
dont let them dick you
im here to tell you
how much youre worth
takin that extra look
take a breath
take a nap
take your coat
and take your hat
leave your worries
on the doorstep
dont floor it, baby,
it looks like a brick wall
but its actually
a sharp turn
something i learned
from that movie,
from david bowie.

go it alone (beck)

I'm comin over
See me down at the station
By the lane
With my hands in my pocket
Jingling a wish coin
That I stole from a fountain
That was drowning all the cares in the world
When I get older
Climbin up on the back porch fence
Just to see the dogs runnin
With a ring and a question
And my shiverin voice is singing
Thru a crack in the window

I better go it alone

Down on the corner
See me standin
On a makeshift road
With the dust storm blowin
In a long black shadow
Pull a hammer from a coal mine
Down where your daddy was workin
Comb my hair back
Strike a match on a bathroom wall
Where my number was written
Drivin on the sidewalk
Lookin back and the sky is burning
In my rearview mirror

I better go it alone


--Beck

ANYTHING

BRINGING FORTH YOUR INNER LESBIAN!
yells the greybearded man at the diner counter
THROWN CONDOM!
YES USED! YES ON THE FLOOR!
the head just hanging on there
like a 3rd ball,
like a clitoris
he says
can i bring you anything?
LIKE SERIOUSLY,
ANYTHING??

but you did

woke up to witness the
consequences of last night
lain bare in the morning light

the radio is singing

you didnt have to love me
but you did
but you did
but you did
thank you baby

you didnt have to hold me
but you did
but you did
but you did
thank you baby

no time no more to grieve
i reheat my coffee
wash the dishes
take my safety pin
and leave

its been nice.

all the things you said to me
play with senses
that need release
the truth of your lips
creates peace
of the pieces
dissects my insecurites
and leaves them
to me
to create positivity
out of the warmth
and the light
of our nights
helps it heal
and when you reveal
your need for flight,
i dont think twice.

its been nice.

present

ill spare you the exhaltation
and go see your installation
when you arent present
spare you the resentment
let you open your opening
free of me
my gift to you
i hope you see it

better things to do

you say everything ive ever given you
was wonderful
but youre not there and i am
sincerely confused
do you
need a personal assistant
to tell you what to do?
what have you got to lose?
i meant to disprove
your fear of the universe
and mend the broken bond btw
The Big U & little you
but you apparently
have better things to do

mama was right

mama dont allow no whiskey drinkin in here
mama dont allow no whiskey drinkin in here
well i dont care what mama dont allow
ima drink that whiskey anyhow
home in the morning
mourning
knowing mama was right

moderately enjoyable

shes living this like, moderately enjoyable life
surrounded by strife
still technically the wife
of some guy overseas
that she never sees
she does what she pleases
when she can afford it

MAN

man cum and eat the apple
get to the seeds
is displeased
instead of planting a tree
gets squeamish
and leaves

i could say

my roommate left me
high and dry
mostly high
he corrected the dryness issue
and left like you
KABOOM.

a puff of dust combusts
to confuse
our wonderealm of lust
and our babies go shoeless
i could say
how could you do this?
but i know how to do it
ive done it
more than once.

my roommate left me
high and dry
the feather net i used to catch
your breath
was full of sighs
all applications denied
in the morning light
i hope youre alright.

something weird in the air

been brought up
couldnt get it off their minds
it occured to me that theres this different culture built up around the snorting circut
waking up to it later in life
but slowly
i could tell we were breaking
the walls
of the situation
no he needed to go
as i dont think many ppl do
the vocabulary to deal with that
certain sitution
this would mean more to me if it happens later
without any planning going through it
maybe not as bad as she is
the saddest part
thats a brilliant girl right there

i could always get worried about her