segway

got run over by a segway in target at eight in the morning.

as i segwayed (no pun) into unconsciousness, it was announced over the loudspeaker that craft mac and cheese was now three boxes for a dollar until midnight.

after that, there was only black.

INTELLECT/DERELECTION

CRASHING INTO THE DREAMY SPACES
MY LOVERS AND I INHABIT
EXERCISING RESTRAINT
ONLY IN THE WORST CASES
LETTING EVERYTHING FALL BY THE WAYSIDE
WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES
PULLING A HUGE SCAM ON THE WORLD
JUST SO I CAN KEEP BELIEVING
NEVER DENYING THEIR TRUST
BUT ALWAYS THEIR INTENTIONS
A GREAT FEELING LIKE YOURE GOING
A GREAT DIRECTION
INTELLECT & DERELECTION
INFECTING THE NATION'S UTERUS
PUMPING OUT BABIES IN BLACK FLUID
SO SICK OF THIS
THEY DIDNT MENTION THIS
IN KINDERARTEN.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
I CAN GET MY
MONEY BACK?

NYTIMES TUMBLER

"WALL STREET
TUMBLES
ALONG WITH
EUROPE AND
ASIA"

SOUNDS FUN!

SOUNDS LIKE

UNITY!

FINALLY!

I LOVE TUMBLING!

LETS GO!

debbie

"there was a cook. her name was debbie. her name was debbie, and she was a cook. and she was extremely extremely suicidal. she was so suicidal that everyone that worked there, no matter how long they had worked there, had witnessed one of her attempts. she didnt have any teeth but one snaggle tooth hangin down. you could still see it when her mouth was closed. me and my friend used to call her gumball because she would always brag about how she gave the best blowjobs in town, since she had no teeth.

debbie also had a son his name was adam. his name was adam and he was a dishwasher. i started out workin with him. she must've had him when she was like, 16. long forehead. really long forehead. buck teeth. and then like, skinny and scraggely, slouching... like this."

NOTE:

ONLY TRAINHOP
IN COUNTRIES
THAT HAVE FREE
HEALTH CARE.

flattering

"omg. my cuticle is covered in dried blood."

"whose blood this time?"

"oh. i only destroy myself.

but thats flattering."

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refridgerated water

"geez
what a sweetheart.
remember how
excited he was
about that
refridgerated
water?"

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